how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
