Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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