your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
