How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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