My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
