look no pants
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
