I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
