Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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