i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
