Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
