dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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