I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
