How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
