Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
