when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
