I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
