the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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