i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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