I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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