Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
