Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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