i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
