I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
