Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
