Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize