i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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