Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
