Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
