No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
