I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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