hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Im part way to drunk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
