8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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