U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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