my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
