Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
