Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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