Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
