Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
