So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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