I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
