This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
