Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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