I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
God, I missed his penis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
