Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
