how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
