I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
