whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
