gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize