My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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