Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
