Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
