this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
