Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
