did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
