Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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