Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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