i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
this hospital has no fireball
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
