You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
