hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
