What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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